When me and my mates started our journey we thought that our parents were coming with us but when we turned around they had already left us. When we stopped for lunch almost everyone's shoes were ice everyone’s feet were numb. After we ate we continued our walk.
All of sudden I noticed that one of my friends were missing I asked on of the adults where has he gone one them said that he slipped between two pieces of ice and drowned they said that there was nothing they could do to help him. I stopped and stood there looking traumatized. At last we arrived at the boarding school for boys when the teachers took us to our rooms I said to my friend troy I wish james made it with us me to siad troy.
Kia Ora Manaia! It’s Ella from your class! Your story about a dangerous journey to school was very interesting! I liked the way you described how they were feeling when they sat down for lunch. It made me feel like I was there when I was reading your story! I also like the way you wrote a conversation at the end of the of the story between the two mates about what had happened during the day. It was kind of like a reflection. Maybe you could look back and check your spelling and punctuation! Otherwise it is all good! How did you come up with this interesting story? Good job!
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